How It Got Its Name—-
As readers of this blog are aware, we have reproduced (with permission) many of the results of the tedious research work from the world renowned, Taurus Foemus University and Institute of Bologna, Italy. (TFUIBI) Most of that research has been in relation to events or discoveries in Europe and some in Asia. After a little digging, we have found a trove of discoveries that relate to North America and the United States in particular. This esteemed study was brought to fruition by Professor Salvatore Boca di Gorganzola Smith.
The first chapters of his discoveries relate to the original settling and naming of many of the familiar cities and states in America. Having an interest in the history of Detroit, I began my investigation there. As we know, the French were the first settlers of the area. The city on the straits in which is now modern Detroit, was discovered by a French officer and adventurer by name of Major Jean Pierre Deblois-Detroit. Although he was not the first to settle the area, he was the most pushy. One day Major Detroit was in a contentious discussion regarding the naming of the settlement. The others in the argument were, Chief Pontiac, the Duke de Chicago, and a Polish prince by name of Stanley Hamtramck. They all claimed to have the naming right. Before it could descend into a physical altercation, Detroit suggested a few games of chemin-de-fer, (or as it later was known, Parchesi) to settle the issue. Winner take all. They all readily agreed on the solution and the boards were set on the picnic tables in the fort. (It was later said that Chief Pontiac might have gotten his game trickery idea from this event, although it was not evident from his diary entries of these days.)
So the game of chemin-de-fer (Parchesi) ensued. Due to his dexterity at games, it was soon evident that Major Detroit would be the big winner. So he got to name the settlement after himself. Of course there was some complaints about cheating and some spirited bad blood came about, but it was finally all settled with a few payments of pelts, hides and golden spondoolicks. Coming in a close second was Prince Hamtramck who got the consolation prize of getting to name a small Polish enclave just outside the fort after himself. The Duke de Chicago believing that he was cheated by Detroit, angrily departed the scene and took his pet mastiff Gary, and headed west to see if he could make his fortune elsewhere. (see below for the report on this) Chief Pontiac started working on other plans, but he did spend some time with an English settler by the name of Hiram Motors. Hiram got the chief to help him start a canoe livery business on Lake Huron. The seed money from this came from gold that Hiram found in the old quarters of the Comte Cadillac. For this boon from Chief Pontiac, Hiram promised to remember the chief down the road and would never forget that he helped a white man make his way in the new world. He also promised him that one day the chief’s people would also have the ability to open up gaming establishments, as soon as they became legal.
Of course, after this, due to some misunderstandings and some crooked deals by the English, Chief Pontiac came up with his great Conspiracy to capture all the English forts. He was successful in a number of cases, but his plan for Detroit was ratted out to the English by one of Pontiac’s jilted girlfriends. He did besiege Detroit, but was not able to take it, getting just as far as Del-Ray and then gave up the fight. So the name remained Detroit and not Pontiac. The chief was placated with having another small burg north of Detroit to be named, Pontiac. Actually, part of his problem was his overheated ego issues, which tended to cloud his judgment at times. So the big baby, did get one town named after himself.
As for the rest of the story, as promised above. The Duke de Chicago headed west. After many travails and setbacks, indian attacks, lack of food and general all around bad luck, the Duke found his way to the southern border of what is today know as Lake Michigan. Just before he reached this point, his favorite dog, Gary, was eaten by a band of marauding coyotes. The Duke established an outpost there and named it after his dog. (Although an Indian soothsayer told the Duke that this was a sacred ground and if he built a settlement there, it would be haunted with evil spirits, ruined roads and foul smelling winds.) He went ahead with naming the town Gary, and it is left to posterity to be the judge on the Indian fortune telling. So the Duke continued west and established the little town of Chicago, which at the time, the Duke and his Duchess always said it would become my kind of town.
Not to forget about Chief Pontiac, he did receive another promised reward, long after his death. After Hiram Motors became successful with the canoes, and later with horse and buggy services, his descendants drifted to careers in the military. His great -great grandson, Vic, became a prominent general in the U.S. Army. He made many significant contacts during his career and was able to accumulate enormous wealth and retired early. Of course by now, you might remember the rest of this happy story. The general got involved with one of the first motor car manufacturers, just after Henry Ford. He was soon running an empire of automobile production. He named his new company after himself, not forgetting his military roots — General Motors. He founded a number of divisions and successful models. Remembering his family traditions from over the years, he did not forget to name one of his first successes after Chief Pontiac, and then his swiftest car was named after the old chief’s horse Thunderbird. In his memoirs he also noted that due to the original source of family wealth, he named his most expensive line of automobiles after the Comte Cadillac. You might not find this story in some of libraries or books in America, (don’t even bother with that worthless Wikipedia) but this tale will be eventually reported now that the archives are finally being opened for scholarly study, some of which you have just now been able to read.
copyright 2018