Dogs and Cats are reigning.
The eternal question burns whenever a certain group of people gather to debate which is the better pet or member of the animal kingdom, the canis, cani, canine or the catus, cati, feline. (We only will deal with normal pets in this case. If you are looking for a treatise on the benefits of goldfish, birdies, serpents, rodents, reptiles or members of the insect world, please consult those books you might find on the FREE table, in the library or bookstore,) For most of us out there, the answer is as obvious as the person in front of you at the so-called speedy check out who is stumped while trying to figure out the nomenclature of their produce items. (You should have taken all those obscure vegetables to the regular checkout and let the expert figure it out.) Anyway, the answer is of course, the noble canine, the family dog. Good old fido.
The evidence is available wherever we might look, so we might as well start throwing it out there. Let’s start with the field of entertainment. In the realm of movies, we have Lassie, Dog of Flanders, The Shaggy Dog, Call of the Wild, Old Yeller, Biscuit-Eater, 101 Dalmatians, Lady and the Tramp, Benji, Rin-Tin-Tin, you could just go on forever. Also, the vast majority of those are true stories or based on true stories or really sound like true stories. Now try and find any decent cat movies, That Darn Cat? That might be it. If you look at the plot of all the dog movies, the cats are usually the evil characters of the film or story. Lady and the Tramp is a sterling example. (We are Siamese etc etc) You need to think about all the adventure stories here. When Timmy fell off a cliff or was captured by bad guys, who went running home to get gramps or dad or the sheriff to save Timmy? That’s right, good old Lassie. Who saved Rusty and all the troops at Fort Apache? Yo Rinty!!! The cats? If any were around, little Fluffy might look over at Timmy laying on the ground, then thinking “…well he won’t be able to make my dinner tonight, so I better slink over to farmer Jones house to see if I can mooch a meal over there.” You won’t see the sneaky, lazy, stinking, cat saving anyone. Cats, the selfish, all about me, member of the animal kingdom.
We also need to consider all the health issues of dogs and cats. The dogs will eat their dinner all at once and then go outside to take care of business. Most cats will let their smelly food sit around all day before they finally polish it off and then they don’t go outside, no, not them, they will relieve themselves right in the house in the putrid little cat box. P.U. What kind of deal is that? Then you have to be sure you protect your little children or yourself while you sleep. There have been numerous cases well-documented of evil cats, waiting till the baby is asleep or maybe even older children and then park their furry body right over the baby’s mouth and suffocate the poor kid! This will never happen with good old Fido. He will sleep at the side of your bed and is ready to protect you from any late night intruders, even sneaky cats. The dog will come when you call it and wag his tail and look at you with his loving eyes and be ready to perform any task that you might ask. What about SugarPop the cat? She will ignore anything you say, walk or run the other way, ready to perpetrate some evil deed as soon as your back is turned. (Look at all the dead birds in your yard! Thank the cat for that.) Their is no loyalty only selfish greed. If good old Beauregard has retrieved the stick or ball and then runs back to you, you might give the dear fellow a nice dog treat or cookie. How civilized. What about PumpkinPie? They might snack on NIP! That’s right, cats are addicted to a feline drug, known as CatNip. A little of the Nip and they are floating around like a skid row hophead. The cat is a taker and the dog is a giver and protector.
Even with all the facts and figures above to prove the case, some people still require a little more scientific data. Well, that is very easy to provide. All we need to do is to consult your handy dictionary. Where to begin? Look at all the words that begin with …CAT…! CATerwaul, CATatonic, CATaclysm, CATastrophe, CATarrh, CATcall, CATty, CATspaw, CAT-o-nine-tails, CAThouse, none of these words being of a positive ilk and then we top it all off with the way ignorant trenchermen might spell CATsup? For our loyal canine friends there is little to choose from, but think of the term….works like a dog…a most positive term. Dog tired, after a hard days work. As for some positivity, what about DOGmatic, DOGged, DOGe, DOG trot, DOG fight, DOG tag, I rest my case. Mr Webster helps make it for me. Here you go, Kevin, good dog, thanks for fetching my slippers. We can all relax now. Case closed.